I used to dread the new year. Singing Auld Langs Syne. Saying goodbye. Putting the holiday decorations away. Trying to remember to write a new year every time I wrote the date. This year that all changed for me. For the first time since I was first allowed to stay up until midnight, I welcomed the new year.
My mom loved and celebrated all holidays – with the exception of New Year’s Eve and Ground Hog Day. Since her death in 2011, I have come to dread all holidays. This year hit hardest. It blindsided me, actually. Depression set in. I became angry. I was sad. All I wanted was to hide from the day, pretend Thanksgiving and Christmas weren’t happening. My family insisted on the ritual family dinners for each holiday. I spent my precious days off from work cooking for a day I was dreading.
What a relief to say goodbye to 2013! I celebrated the ball dropping and laughed. I said hello to 2014, “Hello 2014. How nice to meet you. I’ve been waiting for you all year.” My heart lightened.
And then I smiled. I laughed some more.
This is the year of hello. 🙂