2014

I used to dread the new year.  Singing Auld Langs Syne.  Saying goodbye.  Putting the holiday decorations away.  Trying to remember to write a new year every time I wrote the date.  This year that all changed for me.  For the first time since I was first allowed to stay up until midnight, I welcomed the new year.

My mom loved and celebrated all holidays – with the exception of New Year’s Eve and Ground Hog Day.  Since her death in 2011, I have come to dread all holidays.  This year hit hardest.  It blindsided me, actually.  Depression set in.  I became angry.  I was sad.  All I wanted was to hide from the day, pretend Thanksgiving and Christmas weren’t happening.  My family insisted on the ritual family dinners for each holiday.  I spent my precious days off from work cooking for a day I was dreading.

What a relief to say goodbye to 2013!  I celebrated the ball dropping and laughed.  I said hello to 2014, “Hello 2014.  How nice to meet you.  I’ve been waiting for you all year.”  My heart lightened.

And then I smiled.  I laughed some more.

This is the year of hello.  🙂